Will be back later…

Gerald Ford is setting up a live Christmas Eve broadcast from the White House. The President’s servant, Frank, brings him a cognac. President Ford tells Frank that he doesn’t have to call him “Mr. President” on Christmas Eve. Instead, he can call him “Dr. President”. On the air, the President climbs up a ladder next to the Christmas tree to put an ornament on top. He falls.

There’s no monologue tonight. Instead, Candice says a few words, then introduces Martha Reeves, who puts her own spin on the Motown staple “Higher and Higher”.

I’ve seen Mel’s Char Palace many times over the years, whether it be this episode, or in SNL‘s Commerical Parody showcases. This is the first time, however, that I realized exactly what makes Mel’s Char Palace funny. It isn’t just a funny parody of local eatery commercials. It isn’t just Dan Ackroyd’s broad pitch to the audience, or Gilda’s riling up the chainsaw. Mel’s Char Palace has black humor in it–you, the customer, will not only eat the steak, you will find the cow, butcher it, and cook it. Not very sanitary.

Mel’s Char Palace is this week’s recurring gag, following the Beethoven does pop of two episodes before, and the Richard Pryor line-up gag of the previous week.

In the following sketch, Chevy Chase plays a college student in jail for 26 Counts of Murder. His mother, Jane Curtain, is relieved that he’s not in jail for using marijuana.

The show’s producers are inviting viewers to send in their home movies for free. If you send in your home movie, there will be no guarantees that NBC will use your movie, and you relinquish all rights to your movie to NBC. This is the initiative that brought us the “Mr. Bill” shorts. Then we are presented with one of SNL’s own home movies, “The Bee Capades”, which has the cast in their bee costumes and Candice in a figure skating costume ice skating in front of Rockefeller Center. Don Pardo offers an item from his gift catalog: a digital clock that has an ashtray.

The Stylistics perform their hit “You Make Me Feel Brand New”. This band, in my view, was one of the great R&B acts of the 1970s, and this was one of their best songs. This song has become a mainstay of Oldies Stations, it’s weird to be seeing this song performed when this song was, well, brand new. (Another great one they’ve done is “Betcha By Golly Wow“.) Also notable about this performance? While most male musical guests are fine in casual dress, The Stylistics look dapper in their blue-gray tuxedoes.

On “Weekend Update”, Laraine Newman is reporting from Times Square on the New Year’s Eve Festivities. The problem? New Year’s Eve is December 31st, and today is December 20th. Laraine’s “live remote” routine in this episode is reminiscent of the kind of stuff you see on The Daily Show these days. Chevy Chase takes a look back at the year 1975 by taking a quick glimpse at graphic that reads “1975″. Emily Litella delivers an editorial in response to firing the handcapped, only to find out that the news item is about hiring the handicapped. Never mind.

Weekend Update is sponsored by “Tarn-Off”, endorsed by Princess Grace (Candice Bergen). Grace uses Tarn-Off for her Crown Jewels, as do many Royal Families “throughout Europe and Asia Minor“. Candice’s delivery is nervous and rushed, and she seems to be more concerned about getting through the sketch than trying to evoke the legendary ice queen.

John Belushi and Gilda Radner play two singles who bump into each other at the laundromat. Gilda is looking for a washer; Belushi offers his. After they dump their laundry into the washer, they light two cigarettes and get cozy with one another.

In the Franken/Davis “Pong” sequence, Al Franken incorporates lyrics from The Who’s Tommy (also playing in the background) as he defeats Tom Davis: Tommy, did you see that? Tommy, can you hear me? Tommy, can you SEE me? Hey, Tommy, can you see the moving dot? Tom obviously isn’t responding, and Franken concludes: “You know, you may be a pinball wizard, but your Pong sure stinks!”

The Christmas party in the Land of Gorch isn’t going very well. Most people have opted to attend the Bees’ Christmas party instead. Even Ploobis’ son, Wisss, shows up, telling him that the Bees’ party was a lot better. Then Candice Bergen arrives, and they all sing “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”. The party is saved from ruin.

A superimposed title introduces us to Chevy Chase’s Gay Lover. There is a new installment of Minute Mystery. Candice Bergen is Winona, a personal secretary to the victim, and toting a gun. To everyone except Mike (Ackroyd) and Lopez (Belushi), it’s obvious from the beginning that she’s the suspect. There’s even a “Winona Did It” scrawled on the wall with blood. At the end of the sketch, Lopez and Mendoza still don’t have any idea who did it. Is it that hard to figure out? Really?

Martha Reeves performs “Silver Bells”. This is followed by Laraine Newman playing Fritzie Kringle, a German Housefrau who likes to eat her treats while they’re still batter. Following the third and final appearance of Mel, Mrs. Mel, and their Char Palace, Gloria Steinem can be seen in the studio audience. She’s not pointed out; instead “The Wood Carver For Edgar Bergen” is.

After commercial break, Candice Bergen is joined onstage in a coversation by Maggie Kuhn, founder of the Grey Panthers. Kuhn founded the Gray Panthers after being fired from her job when she turned 65, and contined to advocate for the elderly until her death in 1995. The very spry Kuhn tells the audience that getting old is nothing to fear.

The final segment before the closing a film by Gary Weis, who would direct more short films for Saturday Night after Albert Brooks left. This one is an extended montage of people reuniting with their loved ones to the tune of Simon & Garfunkel’s “Homeward Bound”.

Candice Bergen, Maggie Kuhn, and the cast wish everyone a Merry Christmas.

In order to get Richard Pryor to host the show, producer Lorne Michaels had to meet Pryor’s demands: Gil Scott-Heron (a groundbreaking artist in his own right) had to be a musical guest on the show; actor Thalmus Rasulala and his ex-wife Shelley (also the mother of Pryor’s daughter, Rain) must also be allowed to make appearances on the show. In 1975, Pryor was at the top of his game and this was only Saturday Night‘s seventh episode, so Pryor was able to bend Michaels’ resolve.

The result, in my opinion, was Saturday Night‘s best show up to this point. This episode is incredibly cohesive in tone, well-paced, and well written from beginning to end with some help from Pryor and his collaborator, Paul Mooney. Readers may recognize Paul Mooney from Chappelle’s Show:

Video: Paul Mooney as Negrodamus

The cold open finds Saturday Night already turning their own traditions on its head. Normally, it’s Chevy Chase who performs the fall and proclaims, “Live From New York, It’s Saturday Night!” But when Chevy Chase comes onstage to perform his schtick, so does Garrett Morris. Chevy Chase is none too happy about this, but Morris says that Pryor insisted on him performing what is usually Chevy Chase’s coveted territory. Morris tries to fall onstage, but it’s too fake, and Chevy Chase demonstrates how to make it appear more natural: “The whole point of the fall is to look like you hurt yourself,” Chase says.

Both Chevy and Garrett perform falls. It almost seems like Chevy may do it, but Garrett is the one to do the honors.

Pryor dedicates his monologue to Miles Davis, who’s in the hospital. It is a stand-up routine that concerns people getting drunk, and why he doesn’t go to bars. He talks about having taken acid; “And I thought I was crazy before I took it. It saned me right up.” (You can read the monologue in its entirety here.)

The first sketch is marks the first appearance of John Belushi’s “Samurai” character. This particular installment in “Samurai Hotel”, which has the Samurai running the front desk at a hotel. The premise of the character is to figure a character of the noble Japanese soldier into mundane, every day situations. The the simplest of tasks requires a grand, militant gesture. Richard Pryor plays a samurai bellboy who chops the front desk in half, making things more difficult for everyone.

Gil Scott Heron performs “Johannesburg”, which (IMO) is so awesome, I’m including a YouTube video of it in this post:

In another installment of Looks at Books, Pryor plays Junior Griffin, a black author who wrote a book called White Like Me, a take-off on John Howard Griffin’s Black Like Me. Jane Curtain asks how Junior got white:

“Shoe polish.” he says. He also adopted a white walk and white mannerisms.

In researching his book, he discovered the advantages of being white: applying for jobs, he got accepted eight times out of ten. He also had no trouble with credit cards. Griffin plans on following up this book with a book on being a white Jewish American Princess.

As with last week, there is another recurring gag this week. The previous week had Beethoven playing pop songs; this week, it’s an injured Richard Pryor in a police lineup. Gilda Radner (who is offscreen) is asked to identify who assaulted her: “Well, I, I couldn’t see him too clearly, but, uh, I’m sure it’s the one in the handcuffs.” The other three men in the line-up are white, and they breathe a sign of relief. The second time has Pryor pitted against a nun (Jane Curtain) and an icebox. The woman isn’t so certain he’s the one this time, and she instructs them to open up the icebox. The third time has Gilda identifying Pryor as the guy who robbed her liquor store.

Penned by Paul Mooney, the Word Association job interview sketch is truly a memorable one. When Pryor passed away in 2005, SNL played a part of this sketch to commemorate his passing. It starts out innocently enough, with the interviewer (Chevy Chase) asking Mr. Wilson (Pryor) to do some word association. They line up “Tree” to “Dog”, “Fast” to “slow”. Then it progresses to an apogee:

Chevy Chase’s Interviewer: “Negro.”
Mr. Wilson: “Whitey.”
“Tarbaby.”
“What’d you say?”
“Tarbaby.”
“Ofay.”
“Colored.”
“Redneck.”
“Junglebunny.”
“Peckerwood!”
“Burrhead”
“Cracker!”
“Spearchucker!”
“White trash!”
“Jungle Bunny!”
“Honky!”
“Spade!”
“Honky Honky!”
“Nigger!”
“Dead honky!”

Following another Franken/Davis “Pong” sketch which has Franken’s character having been injured in a hockey game, there is a sketch with Dan Ackroyd as a family patriarch, grousing about how blacks have taken over the neighborhood. This sketch might as well have been called “Invasion of the black people.” As everyone else in his family excuses themselves for one reason or another, they return to the room as a black person. By the end of the sketch, Ackroyd’s character still hasn’t realized that his entire family has become black.

The top story is that Generallissimo Francisco Franco is still dead. Having previously appeared in a Looks At Books, Emily Litella delivers what will be the first of many editorials on “Weekend Update”. Litella is concerned over the “Busting” of schoolchildren, putting them in jail, and missing out on a normal childhood. Chevy Chase has to correct Litella and informs her that the item was about the “busing”, not “busting” of school children.

Litella’s editorial is an example of what separated Saturday Night from other sketch programs of the time, like SCTV (which debuted in 1977). I don’t recall Chevy Chase reporting an item on busing schoolchildren. SCTV revolved around its own orbit: every event, every character in Melonville is interconnected with one another. With “Weekend Update”, certain events take place offscreen, in another time and place; the viewer catches up with the action on Saturday Night.

Ploobis and Scred getting drunk in “The Land of Gorch”. Ploobis drinks out of self-loathing; Scred jokes that he drinks because he hates Ploobis. The Mighty Favog notices they’ve been drinking, too.

Exorcist II features an appearance by Thalmus Rusalala as Priest. (Pryor also plays a priest.) Laraine Newman plays Regan, and begins to insult their mothers in sort of a predcessor to “Yo Mama’s so fat” jokes. At one point, Regan has the bed on Pryor’s foot. After one final insult about their mothers, they both choke Regan.

Albert Brooks is sick in his short film, and performs his directing duties from his sick bed. Over the speakerphone, the doctor tells him that he’s overworked himself. His call is interrupted by a delivery of broasted chicken. The delivery boy is fascinated by Albert and his camera and asks, “Where’s the girl?” Although the delivery boy takes the opportunity to shill Brooks’ new album, he eventually becomes a nuiscance, and Brooks kicks him out.

Pryor starts to deliver a standup routine when he is interrupted by a member of the audience, who is insisting that JFK had more than one assassin. The audience member is shot, and we are segued into another one of Pryor’s routines, concerning alcoholics and a heroin addict being mentored by an alcoholic. This is followed by Pryor’s ex-wife, Shelley, who tells a cute little nursery rhyme about the carousel in Central Park. You can read the story here. She ends with, “I guess that’s a horse of another color, huh?”

Gil Scott-Heron performs another song before the show closes. At the show’s closing, Jane and Laraine taunt Pryor with a pickle and a donut.

Yet another opening with Chevy Chase as President Ford. Subtitles appear: “This is not a good impression of Gerald Ford, but Rich Little won’t work for scale.” As Gerald Ford, Chevy Chase discusses New York City’s financial problems. He hasn’t granted New York City federal funds yet, stating:

The longer I hold out on New York City, the better chances I have with those Conservative Republicans who would otherwise support Ronald Reagan, pretty smart, eh?

Ford has two Rotary Phones at his desk: Henry Kissinger on one phone, Anwar Sadat on the other. He accidentally hangs up on both of them, falls down, and declares, “Live from New York, It’s Saturday Night!”

Lily Tomlin delivers her monologue on a brand new set, the set that would remain through the 1978-79 season. Lily delivers a short rap that closes, “Take pride in yourself, you could be Philadelphia.”

Saturday Night is still experimenting. John Belushi makes three appearances as Beethoven in this episode: in his first appearance, he attempts to play “Moonlight Sonata”, only to get frustrated and switch up to “Tie A Yellow Ribbon”. In the second Beethoven segment, he tries to play his “Fifth Symphony”, then gets bored and starts playing “My Girl”. Late in the episode, the third and final appearance, Beethoven snorts coke and starts playing Ray Charles’ “What’d I Say”. Laraine Newman and Gilda Radner, playing maids, appear dumbfounded by his raucous change of pace and become a ad-hoc version of the Raelettes. Beethoven’s “What’d I Say” is an irrevrent stab at Masterpiece Theatre.

Howard Shore and his “All Nurse Band” is the musical guest for tonight, which is to say that the musical guest is in-house. With Lily Tomlin, they perform “St. James’ Infirmary”. The entire band–mostly male–is dressed in Nurses’ Attire.

The Jaws landshark makes a second appearance. Jane Curtain appears to disregard a radio warning about the landshark preying on single women. Then she opens her apartment door. Expecting the landshark, she hits Dan Ackroyd instead. Catching Jane off guard, the landshark eats her.

Dan Ackroyd returns to his headquarters to make plans to capture the landshark. What he doesn’t know is that the Landshark is right behind him, making suggestions on how to catch him. The landshark eats Dan Ackroyd alive, then Gilda Radner. The sketch is cut short, upsetting Lily Tomlin and John Belushi.

Edith Ann, Lily Tomlin’s 5-and-a-half year old character, makes an appearance in a short film. The props are built in a manner to distort Tomlin’s height and make her more believable as a little girl (the trademark of these sketches). Edith’s dog, Buster, is not allowed on the ice, so she has had his paws pasted to the floor.

“Weekend Update” features another appearance by a recurring gag. An incident where President Ford’s life appears to be in danger, and the culprit is “seized and wrestled to the ground”. In a previous episode, it was a wrecked car; this week, it’s Ford Puncturing himself with a fork. It is reported that General Fransisco Franco of Spain has died. Update is sponsored by Spud Beer. In Spud Beer’s commercial, Alan Zweibel plays a mental patient that has just been through electroshock therapy. Its slogan is: “Spud Beer: For Those Who Can’t Tell the Difference”.

The second half of “Update” features a news item that has the Peanuts character Woodstock replaced with Altamont, whose appearance is basically Woodstock dressed as a Hell’s Angel, and who will “beat birds to death with a pool cue.”

In “The Land of Gorch”, Scred is missing, and after digging up the hole he lives in, it is revealed that he is obsessed with Fran Allison and Lily Tomlin. Scred has joined Lily Tomlin onstage, and they perform a sweet, delectable version of “I Got You Babe”.

The weekly Albert Brooks short film is actually a rebroadcast of “The Impossible Truth”, the short that appeared in the pilot.* It is a newsreel parody that’s sort of a parody of Ripley’s Believe It Or Not!‘s outrageous-but-true stories. It features a blind New York City cab driver who can navigate traffic perfectly; the age of consent being lowered to seven in Oregon; and the country of Israel and the state of Georgia relocating and trading places. “The Impossible Truth” ends with this warning:

“‘The Impossible Truth’ is a fully copyrighted feature. Infringment of that copyright can lead to a long and costly legal battle that we will win. As for now, ‘The Impossible Truth’ continues to scan the globe.

A construction class features Lily Tomlin instructing female workers how to objectify and hit on men, doing a gender reversal on construction-worker stereotypes. This is an incredibly unusual sketch for this period of SNL, as SNL was pretty much a boys’ club in those days. The sketch is contrasted by its follow-up, a commercial parody featuring a housewife with boundless energy. She has her paper grocery bags neatly folded into place with cupboard. What does she owe all her energy to? Why Speed, of course!

The final sketch is a monologue performed by Lily Tomlin, dressed in a poodle skirt and cackling bubble gum, engaging in 1950s teenage gossip.

At the show’s closing, the cast dressed in bee costumes. Gilda asks Lily to autograph one of her albums. The cast does some scat-singing, and the show concludes.

*Since I didn’t write about “The Impossible Truth” in the pilot post, I’m writing about it here.

I urge anyone who’s on Facebook to join the Fan Group Betty White to Host SNL (please?)! if you haven’t already done so.

Word has it that NBC/SNL has already reached out to Betty White’s publicist, but this campaign could use another push.

NPR has a nice write-up on the campaign and offers some good reasons as to why Betty White should host the show. I like this reason best:

Landing a big movie star like Megan Fox doesn’t really matter anymore, because they can come on the show and — like Megan Fox did — come off as utter stiffs. Even when they get good hosts like Mad Men’s Jon Hamm, they don’t know what to do with them anymore. Hosting Saturday Night Live has become such an obligatory part of the PR circuit that no matter how big a celebrity a hot young talent may be, nobody is really impressed that the show landed him or her to host.

You know what would be a big headline? Betty White. It’s such an unexpected maneuver that it would legitimately cause people to pay attention to what’s become one of the most expected shows on TV.

The opening credits try on a new, slower paced theme song, and announces that there will be “No Film By Albert Brooks”, never mind that fact that he’ll be out before this season is done, anyway.

Robert Klein’s monologue reminisces about the early days of television. In one sentence, Klein manages to distill essence of the early days of Saturday Night, and why I chose to embark on this project: “I remember that things could happen live!”. After riffing a little on live television cartoons, he diverts his monologue to talking about making a movie with Joan Hackett.

ABBA’s appearance on the show is the first (and only) attempt to intergrate comedy into the musical performance. Klein, Michael O’Donoghue, and two other women are passengers on the Titanic, seated at the side as ABBA performs. Klein makes hapless gestures as ABBA performs “S.O.S.”. This is one of the few moments where Saturday Night resembles more of the typical variety shows of the time, like Sonny and Cher.

In “One Minute Mystery”, Dan Ackroyd asks, “Do I know who murdered a fly paper heiress? I do, but more importantly, does our viewing and studio audience know? I want to give them fifteen seconds to come up with the right answer, starting now!” In “Beecentenial Minute”, Garrett Morris tells the travails of a bee named Henry, who finds his way to George Washington’s tent and meets his fate being crushed by a musket.

With a sloppy blond wig draped over his head, Chevy Chase plays Gregg Allman. An announcer asks, “Gregg Allman, how’s your love life?” Fooling around on a keyboard, Allman half-heartedly asserts, “I got a new keyboard, a new album coming out, groupies everywhere.” The announcer repeats his question with various inflections, and Gregg Allman continues to evade him. When the announcer asks this question one final time, Allman realizes he’s asking about his wife Cher, and blurts, “It’s, uh, toilet,” and collapses on the keyboard.

John Belushi plays Sam Peckinpah, who is directing a romantic comedy with Gilda and Robert Klein as the leads. The premise of the sketch is that Peckinpah, who made his name with aggressive, hypermasculine westerns, is ill-suited for Romantic Comedy. When Gilda doesn’t deliver exactly what he wants, Peckinpah kicks Gilda in the shin, slugs her, twists her arm, and manhandles her. Robert Klein’s “Rex” character finally knocks him over, and Peckinpah, defeated, yells, “That’s it! I think we got a take.”

During the break of “Weekend Update”, there’s another Jamitol commercial, this time with a narcoleptic Jane Curtain. In the second half, Dan Ackroyd makes his first appearance as on “Update”, using the mannerisms he would perfect as an anchor later on: a stern demeanor and swift talking. Later, he would take the conservative viewpoint in the point/counterpoint arguments on “Update”, inaugurating his arguments with, “Jane, you ignorant slut!”. Here, he takes a liberal viewpoint, encouraging viewers to conserve energy, even as Chevy Chase mocks him using an electronic razor.

Following a sketch that has Belushi and Klein in dressed in fatigues, working as cowardly exterminators, we have Gilda as a fireman. Gilda, or “Gil”, as she is known in this sketch, talks about the perks of working as a fireman: “You get a dog, you play board games, kids love you, and you get to see people in their underwear if their houses burn down at night. She gives fire prevention tips, such as, “When you’re cooking over a gas stove, don’t wear a japanese bathrobe. The sleeves hang down, and they can catch fire.” She also advises that “If you’re playing bingo, sit near an exit.”

In “The Land of Gorch”, King Ploobis has a serious headache, and does everything in his power to make it go away. A belly dancer does a dance for him, but eventually he turns to acupuncture to ail him. When he goes to the Mighty Favog, he discovers that he too has a headache, and is also using acupuncture.

Klein then performs another standup routine. He talks about enrolling at Alfred University because of what he saw on the brochure: students joyously looking upward. This is followed by the K-Put pricing gun, which allows you to price grocery store items to your liking. Having worked as a Grovery Store cashier, this is funny on TV, but a nightmare in real life.

Loudon Wainwright makes a second musical appearance. “Looks at Books” has the very first appearance of Emily Litella. Emily’s high-pitched voice and tics are there, but she has a different wardrobe than she would have later. Emily has authored a book, “Tiny Kingdom”, which is about two “teeny, tiny” people living in a “teeny, tiny” kingdom. Another commercial for The Ambassador Training Institute appears, this time featuring a multiple choice question. Enrollment can be sent to “Illegal Campaign Contributions, Mexico City, Mexico.”

Dressed in a bandanna and a blue shirt, Robert Klein cries “Gimme some blues!” and performs “blues music” with a harp. “I can’t stop my leg!” he howls. His leg goes on as the music stops.

ABBA’s performance of “Waterloo” returns to the “Titanic” set. Subtitles inform us of what is actually going on:

Right now, ABBA is lip-synching. It’s not their fault. The tracks didn’t arrive from Sweden.

Mid-way through the song, the Titanic begins to sink.

The show ends with Robert Klein in a bathrobe. Everyone had a good time.

When Chevy Chase impersonates Gerald Ford, he really isn’t impersonating Gerald Ford at all; it’s more like Chevy Chase acting presidential, with the occasional falling down (something Ford did frequently). That’s what makes it funny.

Candice Bergen mentions in her monologue that she is Saturday Night‘s first female host, but that has no bearing on the ERA, a hot topic at the time (and that said, during most of the 1970s). The monologue is followed by a commerical parody for the Ambassador Training Institute, a vocational school that trains you for a career as a diplomat.

This episode marks the first appearance of Chevy Chase’s “Landshark”, a parody of Jaws. Chevy Chase’s shark appears at the door, mentioning that he’s there to deliver a “Candy Gram”. Laraine Newman and Jane Curtain are eaten alive. Candice Bergen tries to club the shark, only to get Garrett Morris instead.

Esther Philips is introduced by Candice, who says that one of them is going to perform “What a Diff’rence a Day Makes”. Phillips does a rousing, disco-style rendition of the song. It’s unusual that Saturday Night would book a disco singer, since the show largely shunned disco. Philips may have been booked because of her background in traditional R&B, rather than the show bowing to current trends.

Chevy Chase does a clumsy performance of Hamlet, which also segues into a live commercial for a Polaroid Camera.

“Weekend Update” opens with Chevy Chase engaged in a personal phone call, only to realize he’s live on Camera. The second part of “Update” features Jane Curtain doing an editorial, commending President Ford’s decision to deny New York City federal funding. Chevy Chase mocks Jane by sarcastically mimicking her, which irritates Jane. Update’s end has another appearance by Garrett Morris, reiterating the broadcast for the hard of hearing.

Candice Bergen lampoons Catherine Deneuve’s Chanel Commercials, which juxtaposed Deneuve’s striking beauty with her halting English. Andy Kaufman makes another appearance, speaking in a very high pitched voice, and playing the bongos.

Gilda Radner and Candice Bergen have a moment onstage where they discuss femininity and the ERA. Gilda talks about her insecurities; Candice, a former model herself, notes that very few people are comfortable with the way they look. Gilda tells the story of her first date and how she was instructed by others to behave. Gilda was advised to have the man open the door for her. When she was about to get out of the car, she accidentally opened the door, and closed it before her date could open it.

The conversation segues into the ERA. Candice voted for it; Gilda didn’t vote at all. Gilda brings up the criticism that was frequently brought up with the ERA: that men and women would be forced to share bathroom. To which Candice gently retaliates: “We can be equal, but different. Like us.”

“Even a super season has super failures,” says the narrator at the start of Albert Brooks’ short film, which centers around midseason replacements on NBC.

Among the midseason replacements include Medical Season, in which preview clips show a doctor telling a woman that she has a year to live, only to find out that she already knows, and then gives her a lecture about how inconsiderate she is for not informing him that she knew. Then a woman on the phone informs someone at the end of the line that she’s “A registered nurse, not a registered prostitute.” Then there is The Three of Us, which features Brooks as one-half of a married couple who live with his wife’s best friend; he tries goading them into a threesome, but both women resist.

Black Vet concerns an African American Vietnam Veteran who also works as a veteranarian in a small southern town. He encounters a racist pet owner, and at one point threatens a man by saying, “I’m not the kind of vet who believes in drowning cats, except for the kind that goes after my wife.” The late screenwriting guru Blake Snyder once said of Black Vet that it is “so close to a real show on real TV, so much about the desperation of Hollywood types trying to squeeze 10 pounds of shit into a five-pound bag”. Finally, there are also specials, among them Bicentennial specials “guaranteed to make you feel 200 years old.”

Following a sketch that has Dan Ackroyd and John Belushi playing Kiwi Bird trappers on a talk show, Candice plays a photojournalist interviews an Arab Diplomat, played by Belushi. “I don’t know how to pronounce your name, so let’s call you raghead.” she says.

Al Franken and Tom Davis make their first appearance on Saturday Night as two college roommates who converse over a game of Pong. At some point, Franken discovers that his girlfriend is cheating on him with Davis. This is followed by another performance by Esther Phillips.

Candice Bergen is showered with Red Roses at the show’s end.

“There is no other business I can think of where the proprietor knows absolutely that he will face bankruptcy every year,” John Lindsay wrote in 1970. Following the Second World War, New York City had a boom period which enabled the creation of a lot of social programs and projects. Among these creations was a public university which guaranteed all New York City high school graduates automatic admission, and free tuition. In addition, many bridges and expressways were built during this period, including the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway (aka “The BQE”), the Staten Island Expressway, and the Cross-Bronx Expressway.

The construction of the latter may have led to the City’s eventual downfall. In the 1960s, middle class families began to move out of the city and into the suburbs, and factories were pulling out of the city as well. At the same time, minorities with agraian backgrounds were coming into the city for better economic opportunities, and the jobs available in the city didn’t line up with their skills. As the city entered the 1970s, one in eight people living in New York City was on welfare.

To cover their losses, the city began borrowing money from banks. As a BBC Documentary from 2007 put it:

To make ends meet, the mayor had to become a magician. He had two budget hats. One for day-to-day expenses, and one for long term capital projects. Into the current expenses hat went tax revenues. Out of it, he was supposed to pay for city services. Into the captial project hat went money borrowed by selling city bonds. This money was intended to pay for long term projects like bridges, roads, and hosptials. As the deficit grew, the current expense hat came up short.

But the mayor had a trick. He topped it out with borrowed money, and covered the gap. It was a good trick while it lasted, but when money was needed for capital projects, he found that it was already paying for the salaries of city workers. Soon, the city had no money for building or repairs, and had to keep borrowing money just to pay the wage bill.”

 

By 1975, the municipal bonds that New York City sold to cover its expenses were no longer so enticing to bankers. The city made painful cuts to their budget. Many city employees were forced to take serious cuts to their benefits; other employees were laid off completely. There was a fifteen cent increase in public transportation fares. The City College dispensed with its free tuition. Construction projects were halted. Yet, that wasn’t enough. In order to avoid bankruptcy by year’s end, New York would need help from the federal government.

At first, President Gerald Ford steadfastly refused to aid. Many at the time deemed President Ford’s actions as political posturing, done to impress the GOP’s constituents by sticking it to New York’s smug, lofty elites. This inspired the infamous October 30, 1975 New York Daily News headline: FORD TO NEW YORK: DROP DEAD. At the last minute, however, Ford changed his mind, and made a deal with the city to forward 2.3 billion a year through June 30, 1978.

Yet New York City had hardly hit its nadir.

As mentioned above, The BBC made a documentary titled Nightmare In The City That Never Sleeps that was broadcast in 2007. It goes in depth into New York City’s financial problems leading up to the 1977 blackout, and definitely worth wasting time watching on YouTube:

Following another “Chevy Chase falls down” cold open, Rob Reiner comes onstage dressed as a cheesy lounge singer with a bad toupee and one of the baby blue, ruffly tuxedos that were popular in the 1970s. Reiner performs a lounge rendtion of “Blowin’ In The Wind”, and introducing a middle aged man as Irving Berlin. A subtitle reads: “This is not Irving Berlin, but Rob doesn’t know it.” Rob Reiner’s act is somewhat reminiscent of Bill Murray’s “Nick Winters” character. Reiner, who early in his career was a member of the LA wing of the San Francisco improv group The Committee, is perhaps commenting on his generation’s worst fears: seeing a significant song reduced to a nostalgic lounge melody.

The first commerical parody is a PSA spoof sponsored by “The National Pancreas Association”. John Belushi is not feeling so well, and wife Gilda Radner encourages Belushi to have his Pancreas checked out. Dan Ackroyd plays a doctor who confirms that Belushi’s pancreas is indeed “on the fritz”, and fixes it. The PSA plays out more like a commerical for a cold medication than the PSAs of that time:

The first sketch opens with Rob Reiner hosting a fashion show. He gives a shout out to his wife, Penny Marshall, and his stepdaughter, Tracy who are out in California. Don Pardo announces in a voiceover that they’ve flown in Penny Marshall, but Rob doesn’t know it. In a spoof of one of those “TV Surprise” moments, Penny Marshall walks onstage, and the two present a fashion show together.

The fashion show turns into a warped version of What Not To Wear. Gilda Radner comes onstage with her underwear over an orange pantsuit. She is followed by Laraine Newman wearing a dress with a hanger on it. Garrett Morris having a chair attached to his suit, Jane Curtain wearing a hamster head, Jon Belushi with a crab pinching his forehead, and Michael O’Donoghue with a piece of toilet paper trailing his tuxedo.

Another commerical parody selling Haitian Voodoo acupuncture that serves as a substitute for surgery. While it’s funny, but in light of Pat Robertson’s comments on Haiti, it doesn’t leave the best taste in your mouth:

Andy Kaufman lip-synchs to a children’s record, which segues to Dangerous But Inept, where Jane Curtain hosts a talk show featuring Laraine Newman playing Lynette “Squeaky” Fromme. Laraine plays Squeaky with a crazy glint in her eye, but ultimately harmless. When Squeaky aims a gun at Jane, it doesn’t fire–it makes the clicking sound a toy gun makes.

The Lockers, one of the early street dance groups, perform a routine onstage. The Lockers features a post-Easy Rider, pre “Mickey” Toni Basil (wearing a weird Afro hairdo), and Fred Berry, who would become famous playing Rerun on What’s Happening?

On Weekend Update, correspondent Laraine Newman reports a hostage situation from The Blaine Hotel, the same hotel where SNL‘s guests supposedly stay, insinuating that SNL‘s low budget forces to put its guests in perilous hands. On location, the criminals’ list of demands reads like a game show prize list, with Don Pardo reading: a helicopter ride, luggage, an airplane ride to Cuba, carpets, “Guido” slacks, and gold. At the end of Update, Garrett Morris makes his first appearance as a representative for the organization for “the hard of hearing”, where he appears inside a bubble and screams the headlines.

John Belushi channels Joe Cocker’s appearance at Woodstock, complete with Cocker’s stiff, spastic moves, and writhing around onstage. Cocker’s rendition of “I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends” is familiar to most people of my generation as The Wonder Years.

The week’s Muppets installment has King Ploobis having to deal with his son, Wisss, smoking craters and becoming a “crater head”. Ploobis tries to lecture Wisss about not smoking craters–once as himself, and in the way Wisss would speak. Wisss sounds a awful lot like Tommy Chong, and despite his father’s attempt to reach him, says, “Your aura is red!” Wisss blows smoke on Scred, who gets a contact high.

Following another PSA that features Chevy Chase as a drooler, and a sketch featuring the cast square dancing, there’s an appearance by Mark Hampton and Denny Dillon as Nuns hosting a fundraiser. Dillon herself would join the cast of SNL in 1980, after Lorne Michaels was thrown out and replaced with Jean Doumanian. That’s followed by “What Gilda Ate”, which is announced by Rob Reiner as a new regular feature, but I don’t recall this airing at any other time.

Albert Brooks’ short film features him fufilling his dream to become an open heart surgeon. After placing ads in newspapers in ten different cities, Brooks heads to a hospital, where he’s greeted by an old guy eating fast food. Albert Brooks struggles to try and understand what he’s supposed to do, and even has a prank pulled on him–the “fake vein” joke. Nonetheless, the operation is successful, and the surgery patient is back to work directing air traffic.

The closing sketch starts out as a sketch as Rob Reiner and Penny Marshall as restaurant patrons until the bees step in. Rob Reiner breaks the fourth wall and gives the crew a lecture on how the bee sketch doesn’t work. Already in the third episode, the bees have become a running gag about awful variety sketches that don’t work.

Closing credits are different. Rather than Reiner and the cast waving to the audience and the viewers, pictures from SNL’s bumpers and opening montage are run behind the credits. This would not last.

In lieu of an opening monologue, Paul Simon performs his song “Love Me Like A Rock” with the Jessy Dixon singers.

Legendary Yippie Leader Jerry Rubin makes an appearance as a spokesperson for “The Berkeley Collection”, a collection of wallpaper patterned with spraypainted ’60s protest slogans such as: “Burn Baby Burn”, “Black Power”, “Burn Pot, Not People”, and “Free [Insert Black Panther Here]!” When a blob of yellow paint is splattered, Rubin non-chalantly says, “Oops! No Hassle! This wallpaper is vinyl and acrylic coated to make it scuff and stain resistant, and wipes clean with a damp cloth. Isn’t this outta sight?” The commercial concludes with Rubin declaring, “Up the wallpaper, motherfucker!”, with the “motherfucker” part bleeped out with a ear-splitting pitch. “The Berkeley Collection” suggests that the idealism of the 1960s were already a fleeting memory by 1975.

Paul Simon introduces Randy Newman’s performance by performing his own rendition of Newman’s “Marie”, and Simon mentions that he wished he’d written that song. Newman’s performance is followed by “Weekend Update”.

“Weekend Update” in its early days isn’t about putting a humorous slant on the news as it is a vehicle for Chevy Chase to make glib remarks. WU’s opening has Chevy making an extended gag about President Ford getting into an accident and wrestling a thumb to the ground.

Chevy goes to a “live” remote of a one-on-one basketball match between Paul Simon and the Atlanta Hawks’ Connie Hawkins. Hawkins sought Simon out for a one-on-one after hearing that Simon was one of the best players “on the schoolyard”. Simon, wearing a jersey with the number “.02″ on it, realizes that Hawkins’ 6′ 8″ height gives him an advantage. The game is abbreviated to the tune of Simon’s “Me and Julio Down By The Schoolyard”. Simon incredulously wins, but has opted to “get back into music” rather than pursue a career in basketball.

Simon & Garfunkel get ample time on the show, and their performance is opened by a photomontage documenting their days as Tom and Jerry until their break-up. As Art joins Paul on stage, Paul quips, “So, Artie, you’ve come crawling back. The movies are over now?”, alluding to the fact that Art has spent most of the previous five years acting in films like Catch 22 and Carnal Knowledge. Simon and Garfunkel perform “The Boxer”, “Scarborough Fair”, and “My Little Town”, the latter being a song on Garfunkel’s solo album, Breakaway. Then Art takes the stage alone, singing “I Only Have Eyes For You”.

The Muppets’ “Land of Gorch” sketch concerns Gorch being on the brink of default. “What we need is financial assistance,” King Ploobis suggests. Ploobis seeks the Mighty Favog for financial guidance.

“It’s gonna cost you,” says Favog, and asks to sacrifice Scred. After consuming Scred, Favog points out that he has “one less mouth to feed”, and encourages Ploobis to sacrifice more. The sketch seems to an allegory for New York City’s current financial crisis.

Albert Brooks’ short film is a review of old home movies his parents made of them intruding on young Albert’s most intimate rites of passage: his first solo trip to the bathroom, his first kiss, and when he lost his virginity. He then segues into outtakes from other films, where he appears dressed a cow trying to buy an airplane ticket, then stuffing himself in a dryer and pretending to be a talking dryer. The talking dryer seriously irritates the laundromat patron. “We filmed other people, but they all pretty much acted the same way,” Brooks concludes, suggesting that he didn’t really learn from his parents’ mistakes.

Phoebe Snow, seven months pregnant, sings the Billie Holiday tune “No Regrets”, which is followed by Paul Simon and the Jessy Dixon Singers joining her onstage to sing “Gone at Last”. There’s a collaborative spirit between Snow and Simon. Snow doesn’t seem to mind Simon and the Dixon Singers joining her onstage, and doesn’t appear to worried about being upstaged.

A commerical Parody for Try-Hard Batteries features five elderly people with pacemakers. The elders are left out on a lawn overnight, and the next morning, all of them look exhausted, except for the one who had the Try Hard battery put into him. A little morbid!

At the close of the show, Paul Simon is presented an award by New York Knicks forward Bill Bradley. The trophy nearly topples him, but Paul Simon is ready to take on Kareem-Abdul Jabbar!